Among other things, The Art of War teaches us that we must understand our opponent - know their situation, their motivations, and their strengths and weaknesses. Aikido teaches us to then transform that energy into mutually-positive outcomes.
Recent conversations with parents tell me they're still at a loss about broaching sex with their kids.
Most children have sex way before adults believe they do; they like it as they like other things they're told they shouldn't (alcohol, downloading unlicensed content, staying out late, etc.). It got me to thinking - rather than take the fear and forbidden fruit approach to sex, why not take advantage of what's already there?
Here's my sex speech:
I know sex is something you're going to want to try, and if you're anything like I was, once you start, you'll want to get it as often as you can. There are three things you need to know that'll help you get as much as you possibly can:
- You can't have body parts falling off - there are a ton of sexually-transmitted diseases, and if you catch one, not only will it hurt, but you might never get laid again.
- Pregnancy is a sex-stopper. Once you are or get someone pregnant, sex stops - period. You don't want any part of this.
- The best sex is with someone who wants it just as much as you do. If your partner says 'No' - that's it - stop; and you have to make sure your partner will stop if you say 'No.' If you ignore this, you might go to jail where you'll get way the wrong kind of sex.
What do you do? Always, always talk about sexual history and diseases - you gotta know you're both free of disease; condoms do help, but the conversation is just as important, and your partner will like you more for it [If it's a boy, say: girls will really respect and like you for bringing this up, and it will help you get more sex]. Condoms will also help pregnancy, so it's a two-fer.
Let's review - first - you've gotta talk history; second - condoms; third - 'no' means stop.
This is a bit of a departure for this blog, or is it? While more personal, this is basic marketing. A old friend Nick Stodin once said the key to successful selling is the organizing principle - if you package something correctly, people will buy it - no selling required. His example:
- Take a bunch of vegetables, chop them up and throw them in a pile in the back yard. What do you have? Compost. What do you do with it? Turn it over, wait for it to rot.
- Take a bunch of vegetables, chop them up and drop them on your kitchen floor. What do you have? A mess. What do you do with it? Clean it up.
- Take a bunch of vegetables, chop them up and put them into a wooden bowl. What do you have? A salad. What do you do with it? Eat it.
The organizing principle is the bowl, or in the previous case, the path to prolific sex; the desired behavior is assured, no selling required.